It takes me a year to finally write an entry? Gosh, we stan a consistent queen.
Anyways, hi. I'm back again. Before starting, I just want to say that the university was good, I survived. So far. It's been my second semester and I already halfway there from graduating? How time flies.
But, I still couldn't do what I really wanted. I can see myself always depending on others. I think I'm going to set myself free when my next semester begins. It's time to step out from these small boxes. It's time to finally enjoy my life as a student. I just think it feels worst to follow someone's back. It feels you are blot out, unimportant. At the end of the day, it's just you and your own world.
I wish to end those days. I will.
Frankly speaking, all above is not the real message today.
I want to make a confession.
Something that I really want to speak up for a very, very long time. But I couldn't.
Because I realized how coward I was for this entire time. I have been hiding, I was scared.
It's about how people's perspective towards me.
It sounds boring and cliche, you might end up being cringe. But okay. Go on.
The past few weeks somehow, just opened my eyes and perspectives. People who might know me, they think I'm cold, aggressive and fierce for I don't know what reason (probably my resting bitch face).
I, high-key wanted people to think that I'm cold. Because I believe, if you can't stand me, you should get out of my circle. We can't understand each other, it's okay. Leave is the option.
Somehow, some people made me realized, pushing people away wouldn't make me any better. At the end of the day, I still struggle to find someone who I really comfortable with. Someone who can accept me for who I truly am. Letting the door opens, will do. How I wish, it would be easy. But I guess times will help me. Searching for the right companion, friends, and people is not easy. It takes time to understand each other's journey and pain. And that's what I am lack of. I'm not able to read people. I'm that helpless. I'm truly sorry for these people that I slipped my hands out from them. Sorry, for not hearing you out. Sorry for not reaching you on your darkest nights. Sorry I couldn't stand for you.
I hope I can reach out, hug and comfort you. I wish I can understand you better. If I wasn't that late for you.
This post, goes to every single soul that is hurting, because of me.
Anyways, hi. I'm back again. Before starting, I just want to say that the university was good, I survived. So far. It's been my second semester and I already halfway there from graduating? How time flies.
But, I still couldn't do what I really wanted. I can see myself always depending on others. I think I'm going to set myself free when my next semester begins. It's time to step out from these small boxes. It's time to finally enjoy my life as a student. I just think it feels worst to follow someone's back. It feels you are blot out, unimportant. At the end of the day, it's just you and your own world.
I wish to end those days. I will.
Frankly speaking, all above is not the real message today.
I want to make a confession.
Something that I really want to speak up for a very, very long time. But I couldn't.
Because I realized how coward I was for this entire time. I have been hiding, I was scared.
It's about how people's perspective towards me.
It sounds boring and cliche, you might end up being cringe. But okay. Go on.
The past few weeks somehow, just opened my eyes and perspectives. People who might know me, they think I'm cold, aggressive and fierce for I don't know what reason (probably my resting bitch face).
I, high-key wanted people to think that I'm cold. Because I believe, if you can't stand me, you should get out of my circle. We can't understand each other, it's okay. Leave is the option.
Somehow, some people made me realized, pushing people away wouldn't make me any better. At the end of the day, I still struggle to find someone who I really comfortable with. Someone who can accept me for who I truly am. Letting the door opens, will do. How I wish, it would be easy. But I guess times will help me. Searching for the right companion, friends, and people is not easy. It takes time to understand each other's journey and pain. And that's what I am lack of. I'm not able to read people. I'm that helpless. I'm truly sorry for these people that I slipped my hands out from them. Sorry, for not hearing you out. Sorry for not reaching you on your darkest nights. Sorry I couldn't stand for you.
I hope I can reach out, hug and comfort you. I wish I can understand you better. If I wasn't that late for you.
This post, goes to every single soul that is hurting, because of me.
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