Hi, i'm back with a new entry after like... a month? lol. I bet it less than a month. But i feel like wanting to write. So here it goes. Oh, please don't bother about the title, there's nothing related to this post anyways.
I just wanted to take a slow write because I was upset. Lol, this is about the journey of me as a teen. Urgh, i don't know how to express this but i will try it slowly anyways. As i am growing to this phase of life, i have witnessed a lot of my friends putting themselves in this circle called 'relationship'. Ikr this is so cliche and gross/cringe to read.
I am happy for my friends as they finally found someone that could fill the 'vacancy' in their hearts. Yep, I do. Seeing their faces while having sweet conversations together. I mean, how the hell do you learn to do that? Doesn't it feel cringe while writing sweet messages to each other because i do, even with my best friends when they're trying to be sweet to me and i'm like "let's get to the point, what actually do you want?" lol. That's how 'sweet' i am.
I think i got it from my brothers, though. They taught me to be tough as hell hahahaha. Sometimes i don't feel like i am a girl at all based on how cold/brutal i am when treating my friends. Every joke i made, it was considered 'boyish' kind of style. If you know what i mean. But, trust me. I will only show my real self around people i am closed to.
I did get a question from my curiouscat (if you haven't follow me yet do it. NOW) it was from this anon who asked me "bila nak ada someone?" lol. This is so mean, anon. I can't get to answer it correctly since i was distracting myself with other stuff. I wanted to take some times and a long thought thinking of the right answer. So, here's i think of:
Who the hell do not want a boyfriend? Of course, not me.
It's just the matter of time and feelings on both sides.
I do have someone i like though (of course not a celebrity or whatsoever i am talking about real person here)
I don't think the person i have crush on will notice me anyways so i chose to keep on being silent and give that particular person hints (basically the hints are often being tweeted on my Twitter and it was so, legitly heartbreaking tweets) but i don't think he will check on it anyway so that's why i am very bold tweeting that stuff lol.
(if he checked it, then good)
But, hey women are complicated. We drop hints. We want to be noticed. Get it?
"I think you have people crushing on you too."
I was actually glad people like me irl in spite of how ugly and dumb i am.
But, to be really honest, i didn't like that way though. Because i knew how hurt and painful it was to have a crush on someone but at the end, they didn't feel the same way as you did. I wish i could feel the same, but it was hopeless when the hearts didn't want what it wanted. So, do not get your hopes high.
I think being liked by someone you have been crushing on, is the best feeling in the world. You know that person could accept you for who you are. And if it's the case, you're lucky to be that kind of person. And, unfortunately, i am not one of them. I wish, i will.
It is so sad that the fact me and the person i like, just did not have much talk and conversation. Even if we have the time, we will end up being bored with each other. We do not have many things to talk about. It was clearly just me being his avid fans by asking tons of question but not him. So i just assume that he literally has 0 interest with me. Itt is called unrequited love, people. It's okay to have a crush, i mean everybody does. It's better to not being noticed by the person we liked if we know how the result looks like at the end. They will not be going to feel the same way just like we did. And, it is the ugly truth.
On the other hand, keep your chin ups. The right ones will come for ya ;) It's just a matter of time.
I just wanted to take a slow write because I was upset. Lol, this is about the journey of me as a teen. Urgh, i don't know how to express this but i will try it slowly anyways. As i am growing to this phase of life, i have witnessed a lot of my friends putting themselves in this circle called 'relationship'. Ikr this is so cliche and gross/cringe to read.
I am happy for my friends as they finally found someone that could fill the 'vacancy' in their hearts. Yep, I do. Seeing their faces while having sweet conversations together. I mean, how the hell do you learn to do that? Doesn't it feel cringe while writing sweet messages to each other because i do, even with my best friends when they're trying to be sweet to me and i'm like "let's get to the point, what actually do you want?" lol. That's how 'sweet' i am.
I think i got it from my brothers, though. They taught me to be tough as hell hahahaha. Sometimes i don't feel like i am a girl at all based on how cold/brutal i am when treating my friends. Every joke i made, it was considered 'boyish' kind of style. If you know what i mean. But, trust me. I will only show my real self around people i am closed to.
I did get a question from my curiouscat (if you haven't follow me yet do it. NOW) it was from this anon who asked me "bila nak ada someone?" lol. This is so mean, anon. I can't get to answer it correctly since i was distracting myself with other stuff. I wanted to take some times and a long thought thinking of the right answer. So, here's i think of:
Who the hell do not want a boyfriend? Of course, not me.
It's just the matter of time and feelings on both sides.
I do have someone i like though (of course not a celebrity or whatsoever i am talking about real person here)
I don't think the person i have crush on will notice me anyways so i chose to keep on being silent and give that particular person hints (basically the hints are often being tweeted on my Twitter and it was so, legitly heartbreaking tweets) but i don't think he will check on it anyway so that's why i am very bold tweeting that stuff lol.
(if he checked it, then good)
But, hey women are complicated. We drop hints. We want to be noticed. Get it?
"I think you have people crushing on you too."
I was actually glad people like me irl in spite of how ugly and dumb i am.
But, to be really honest, i didn't like that way though. Because i knew how hurt and painful it was to have a crush on someone but at the end, they didn't feel the same way as you did. I wish i could feel the same, but it was hopeless when the hearts didn't want what it wanted. So, do not get your hopes high.
I think being liked by someone you have been crushing on, is the best feeling in the world. You know that person could accept you for who you are. And if it's the case, you're lucky to be that kind of person. And, unfortunately, i am not one of them. I wish, i will.
It is so sad that the fact me and the person i like, just did not have much talk and conversation. Even if we have the time, we will end up being bored with each other. We do not have many things to talk about. It was clearly just me being his avid fans by asking tons of question but not him. So i just assume that he literally has 0 interest with me. Itt is called unrequited love, people. It's okay to have a crush, i mean everybody does. It's better to not being noticed by the person we liked if we know how the result looks like at the end. They will not be going to feel the same way just like we did. And, it is the ugly truth.
On the other hand, keep your chin ups. The right ones will come for ya ;) It's just a matter of time.
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